Giggles
by idioticonion
Summary: Marshall gets a surprise gift. Spoilers for 4.16 Sorry Bro


**Giggles**

Barney poked his head through the door of Marshall's office.

"Hey, it's Giggles the Clown," Marshall said under his breath, giving Barney a wry grin as he walked in and perched on the edge of his desk.

"Marshall… Oh my god! You are not going to _believe_ what happened to Blauman this morning…" His friend said, practically bouncing with enthusiasm.

"Not as much as you aren't going to believe the special secret thing that happened to _me_ today!" Marshall laughed as Barney's eyes went very wide at the word "secret" and he leaned forward eagerly.

"What? What? Tell me the special secret thing!"

Marshall leaned back, grinning. "Maybe I will, maybe I won't."

Barney's expression twisted with comical distress. "Tell me!"

Marshall smiled. "Nah, you tell me the thing about Blauman first?"

Barney considered this, obviously weighing up how good he thought his story was versus something unknown and possibly juicy that he was being taunted with. "Hmm, okay… well… There was this-"

"Oh, and by the way, when exactly did Blauman rise from the dead?" Marshall interrupted him.

Barney blinked. "Huh?"

"Blauman. Didn't he try to pee on the conference table, resign… and then die?"

Barney shook his head, obviously completely bewildered. "Marshall, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Marshall laughed. "Dude, _you_ told me that story."

"Did I?" Barney's face split into a pin-ball grin. "Then it's probably true. I don't know…" His forehead wrinkled as he thought about it and he added, speaking very quickly. "Perhaps he's a zombie? Marshall, tell me the _special secret thing_!"

Marshall recoiled. "Zombie? Dude, not cool."

"What's wrong with being a zombie?"

Marshall thought about it. "Cold skin, brain eating, making other people into zombies?" He shuddered. "Dude, if that happens to me, get Robin to shoot me in the head? Don't make me come back and work here for all eternity."

Barney did a double take. "Why? Working here is _awesome_."

Marshall laughed. "Only you, Barney, only you." Then he leaned forward. "Although, since you have no circulatory system, that means no sex. Lawyer-ed!" He held up his hand.

Barney reluctantly gave him a high five. "So do you want to hear about Blauman, or not?"

"Not really." Marshall said with a laugh. "How about I tell you the special secret thing?" He raised and eyebrow.

Barney clapped his hands eagerly "Tell me, tell me!" as Marshall disappeared beneath the desk, bringing out a large cardboard box. He watched Barney's face as he did so and had to admit that Barney did a great line in deadpan reactions. If he didn't know better…?

"What's that?" Barney asked him.

Marshall opened the box to reveal a beautifully tailored suit jacket, packed carefully in tissue paper.

Barney leaned forward, running his index finger over the fabric and nodding approvingly. "Nice!"

"Yeah, I've got two."

Barney gave him a kind of complicated half-shrug. "Nice squared?"

"They arrived in the post this morning, I've no idea where from."

Barney nodded with a grin. "Two free suits? Nice cubed!"

Marshall laughed at this. "Barney, who would send anyone a free suit? Let alone two."

Barney just repeated the shrug. "Some incredibly generous, _awesome_ person that knows you need a spare suit?"

Marshall laughed. "An awesome person like you?"

Barney gave him a haughty look. "I'm sure your mysterious benefactor would prefer to remain anonymous!"

Marshall chuckled.

Barney deadpanned for a few more seconds giggling. "But you totally know it was _me_, right?"

Marshall laughed out loud at this. "Right." Barney got off his desk to leave but Marshall reached out to stop him. "Barney, I can't let you do this. How much do I owe you for the suits?" He hoped to god Barney had got the usual discount from Sergei!

Barney just laughed. "Please!"

"I'm serious. I'm not a poor student any more, I can pay my own way."

Barney gave him a long hard look. "Marshall, you don't owe me anything."

Marshall shook his head. "But- But-"

"Dude! I _cut up_ your suit!" Barney said, as if that explained everything.

"Only one pair of trousers! Do you really feel that guilty?"

Barney gave him a look as if guilt were a totally alien concept. "Marshall, you are far too old not to own at least five good quality suits. At _least_. You've been hanging out with Ted for too long. You need to start reading my blog!"

"I can't accept it, Barney. I know how much those suits cost!"

Barney shook his head. "If a Bro can't buy his Bro a suit once in a while, the world has become a very tragic place and, frankly, not one that I wish to live in."

Marshall sighed. He realised he was going to lose this argument. "Okay. Well, look, thanks man. I owe you one. Or two..."

Barney smiled bashfully.

"So come on," Marshall prompted him. "Tell me the Blauman story."

"Psh," Barney waved a hand dismissively. "That's not half as fun as your awesome zombie theory!"

Marshall nodded. That was probably true. "Although, dude, if he does go crazy and there's a zombie outbreak at GNB, and you _do _have to get Robin to shoot me, take care of Lily, will you?"

Barney gave him a look. "You want me to _take care_ of Lily?"

Marshall nodded earnestly.

"Jesus!" Barney said, standing up. "Will you two quit trying to have sex with each other through me! If you want a three way, you only have to ask!"

Marshall shook his head incredulously. "What?"

Barney rolled his eyes. "Exactly!"

Marshall gaped at him.

"Anyway, I can't stand around here all day being asked for sexual favours. That's what secretaries are for. Peace out, hombre!"

And Barney stalked out of his office, leaving Marshall staring at the suit-in-a-box. He lifted the jacket carefully out of the box, fingering the soft wool.

Marshall swore that if he knew his friend for fifty more years, he'd never really understand him.

But boy, did Barney know a thing or two about suits!


End file.
